December 22nd, 2009 by TNM

*sigh*

I’m so tired of scammers ….There’s the Nigerian Scam in about 2 billion guises in my email everyday, the “Lottery Commission of the Netherlands” claim I won a ba-ziliion dollars in their lottery, Dong Su Cho from Hong Kong wants to make me a millionaire and all’s he needs is my checking account number, and oh yeah…by using the latest and greatest “male enhancement” product which I think involves weights and vacuum pumps of some sort …I too can have….A massive 12 inch pecker that will drive 6 inch carpentry nails through solid mahogany and make any woman swoon …..

That the law states you cannot go around with your pecker hanging out and making women “swoon” at your whim seems to escape these mental midgets that send this crap out…. But I digress.

I really think we should be allowed to extract our revenge in a manner we feel appropriate when a scammer tries to swindle you…Be it E-mail or the phone, or even the old style postal service, I think tracking them down and shooting them in the face with large caliber weapons is a swell idea…

Why am I displaying my obviously non politically correct musings and utter contempt for my fellow humans??

Because, A: I am bored.

And B: After three years of hassle free service, I just had to change my Vonage phone number.

This is a huge pain in the ass…I was JUST getting to the point where I actually REMEMBERED that damn phone number…now I have to start all over again….Damn these snake oil hucksters to hell.

Why did I have to change my number you ask?

Because suddenly, I was getting calls from some outfit in Canada (Area Code 905 ) trying to tell me I owed them money….since I have never set foot in the frozen wastelands of Canada, conducted any business with a Canadian company, nor would I for that matter, as I despise the place and it’s long haired hippy tree hugging population, I wont even drink Canuck Whiskey…(but that’s another rant for another time) it was obviously a scam.

But Lord they were persistent I have to give them that.

It all started up about 11pm last night and has since escalated, with each call becoming much more ominous in its tone, and warning me of the truly ghastly and horrible things that were going to befall me if I didn’t comply….IMMEDIATELY.

I mean really, if someone calls you up out of the blue and says they are more or less going to ruin your life, there’s severe legal actions going to take place, and YOU’RE DOOMED!!!…and it’s all just a scam…well; shouldn’t you in turn be allowed to shoot the sorry ass in the face?

I think you should, but that’s just me.

Ya know? God forbid you comment on a woman’s hair or that she has a nice blouse on…OH nooooo…that’s sexual harassment and causes mental anguish and horrible self esteem issues, why the poor lass will be on Ophra crying her eyes out for weeks, nay months afterward!! … forever more a basket case…

Well damn it….I want the same treatment applied to scammers….I’m feeling harassed.

I think ‘tis only fair…

Failing that? Well then, these people should fall under the “old school way” rule book….If they embark on a life of swindling and scamming others, they should understand fully one premise ….”don’t mess with a bull unless you want to tangle with his horns” (or…. .45 Caliber Hand gun as the case may be).
This way it’s fair, there is no crying or wailing when they get their faces shot off. Everyone’s in agreement, you swindle; you run the risk of receiving a “45 caliber Bo-Tox injection”…Absolutely FREE.

And people say I’m cruel. Bah!!

On the flip side of it; anyone STOOOOPID enough to get caught in one of these pathetic scams…well we should shoot them in the face too…

I’m not falling for the pansy ass liberal “victim” crap any more…they are obviously from the kiddy pool side of the gene pool and thus, it would help kill 2 birds with one stone. Less STOOOPID people in the world and as a result, the scammers have to find REAL ways to make their livings, that is if I haven’t already tracked them down and gave them their free .45 caliber face lift.

Now I think I will go on to Google maps and track down this address that is showing up attached to that little bastard’s phone in Canada…Just for fun…ya-know?

(No scammers were hurt in the production of this post…yet)